Pine Cove 2009

So I think most of you know that I love Pine Cove Camps. I have spent a fair share of my time there each summer and each year have grown fonder and fonder of that place in East Texas. Last summer I got the amazing privilege to be a Baby Ruth (The discipleship program for girls who have just graduated high school). This fall I was able to apply to be on summer staff as a counselor. 

I found out yesterday that I am working at the Towers. It is the 2nd-5th grade camp. I was glad to hear from them, but Towers was not my first choice. I really wanted to be at the Shores, the high school camp and honestly it was hard to let go of that (actually I'm still working on it). As hard as it was, I have an amazing peace about being at the Towers and being given the opportunity to love and share Jesus with elementary aged kids. 

I really think that this summer is going to be fantastic. Very strenuous and growing. I am nervous and scared, but I know that this time next year I am going to be thrilled that I was able to have this opportunity. I am just praying that the Lord will truly use me to impact this little kiddo's lives. What a blessing, I mean really how much more purpose can a girl want? I get to spend 5 weeks telling precious kids about the love that Jesus has for them. 

Whoa, goosebumps. THIS IS GOING TO BE AN AWESOME RIDE!

Home

I am beyond ready to come home... 

You never realize how lonely you can be even when you are with a bunch of people.... 

It's taken me awhile to realize why. Here is my "profound" conclusion:

They haven't been with you when you were sad because you made a bad grade or didn't place at a speech tournament. They weren't there to see you heartbroken for the first time. They weren't there to jump up and down with you when you accomplished something great(like breaking to finals at state or just for the cute guy asking for your phone number). 

I know those things will come, but I'M STILL LITTLE and need my mommy and daddy and my twue fwends. 

Why Yes, I Will Call You President Obama...

   Let every person be subject to the governing authorities. For there is no authority except from God, and those that exist have been instituted by God. Therefore whoever resists the authorities resists what God has appointed, and those who resist will incur judgment. For rulers are not a terror to good conduct, but to bad. Would you have no fear of the one who is in authority? Then do what is good, and you will receive his approval,for he is God’s servant for your good. But if you do wrong, be afraid, for he does not bear the sword in vain. For he is the servant of God, an avenger who carries out God’s wrath on the wrongdoer. Therefore one must be in subjection, not only to avoid God’s wrath but also for the sake of conscience. Romans 13:1-5

This verse is so important for the next four to possibly eight years of our lives. I know that the first thing that came to my mind when I found out Barack Obama won was "I can never call that man President." Then I sat there thinking about that and I became very convicted. The Lord, who reigns in heaven has appointed this man to lead our nation. Whether you like him or not, you have no control. By saying that this was not suppose to happen and you can never call this man your President is say, "God, You are wrong." How dare we do that. We do not see the big picture... I did get to see a little fragment though. I have gotten to talk to several people who are scared and afraid and are turning to God. People are nervous and faiths are being strengthened. I know that my own strength has been re-evaluated and re-focused to the Lord. This is not in my hands, thank goodness! 

I want to challenge Christians to stop whining. It is ugly and disgusting. Let's rise above bitterness and anger and show respect and peace in the Lord. God has a plan, this is his plan. Trust and respect His authority...

My prayer from now on is "Father, Your glory be made know through President Obama."

"....and right now, in the good times and bad, You are on Your throne and You are God alone."

Thought you might wanna see me and my date dressed up for my date party. We went as "bikers." 

It was a lot of fun! 

Halloweeeeen

I have this date party thing on Friday. I have decided that I am terrible with boys. 

Also, I need costume ideas. I know that it is two days till time, but I need 'em. 

Any creative people out there?

Break My Heart

"...Break my heart for what breaks Yours."

I love this line... How beautiful is it that our heart can break for one another. What a magnificent gift. I find it another way that we are made in the image of God. His heart breaks for us when we run from him, actually, we truly break His heart. 

My prayer has been for my heart to be broken, that I won't be desensitized to our world. I feel like college can make you pretty numb to sin. It's everywhere and whether you are doing it or not, you become very apathetic to it. So that is my prayer today and everyday, that the Lord would break my heart. I mean, really, what kind of purpose does that give someone?  A Divine purpose. 

Let your heart break. His does. 

Chan

I miss this guy.

He is a stud.

Focus

Today a girl in my Public Speaking class said that energy drinks help maintain focus.... haha! Biggest joke I have ever heard. I don't drink them, but I wish they really worked and then I would drink one... I need it right now.

I had a speech today, a test in BOWLING, yes they give bowling tests, tomorrow. A Public Speaking test Thursday and a Texas History test on Friday. Oh. My. Goodness. 

College has hit... and this morning I was overwhelmed and discouraged, but tonight, I feel a little overwhelmed, but calm. 

God is good, all the time, even during midterms...

Side note: I think I am going to sit back and dwell on exactly how HUGE God is, Wow... sometimes I get dumbfounded by how AWEsome He is. 

Oh and I wanted to say CONGRATS to all of you who ran in the Chicago marathon this past weekend. You all are incredible... I went to the gym a couple of days ago :) haha.

Oh dear.

Well, I don't have long to post today, but I wanted to say one small remark about and organization I have officially joined... College Republicans.

I went to watch the debate with a group of them, but more importantly for extra credit in one of my class, but anyway, I got drafted into joining the club. I'm sure it will work out and not that I can do anything, but this group needs some estrogen. :) 

I have never met more arrogant males who think they have the political world figured out... THEY DON'T!!! Geee whiz. 

So, here I go, feet first, or maybe head first into the weird world of male dominated College Republicans.

Bartlesville

This weekend has been a little bit odd to me. I was sort of sad that I couldn't come home this weekend to see all of the homecoming festivities. It's not that I love Bartlesville football or any of that, but I love fall in Oklahoma. Here in College Station it still feels like summer, and I really miss the cool air in an Oklahoma fall. Other than that I was bummed that I didn't get to see Chandler auctioned off at the baseball fundraiser or see him ride in the parade. The other part I missed was getting to see old friends, but especially Autumn. That girl, oh man, where do I start. She is incredible and we have one of the oddest and most beautiful relationships I have ever seen, let alone possessed. We fight hard, love hard and have a level of honesty in our relationship that is priceless to me. She smacks me back in line when I need it and vice versa. 

Outside of missing people and being sad that I didn't get to see some of Chan's cool stuff, I have had a lot of time to reminisce about high school and where the Lord has brought me to at this point in life. Let me start by saying it is incredible and so obvious where the Lord has brought me from and now placed me. He truly saved me from some situations and blessed me in others. God is good, if only I could remember to FULLY trust Him in the midst of life not just in hindsight. 

So, if you're in Bartlesville reading this, know that I am thinking of home and all of the wonderful people and memories that I have made there. I have become exceedingly more grateful for that random little oil town in Northeastern Oklahoma. Oh and you could be praying for some cool weather down here, haha!

My Biggest Fans

This past weekend my family came and saw me, which was so great! Besides being a totally poor college kid and enjoying a little bit of pampering :), it was very refreshing.

When I got out of Baby Ruth's at Pine Cove, I realized that I was kind of roaming the state of Texas all alone. My family was in Bartlesville, and I was traveling all over the place. There were about three days that I felt so alone and just bummed out. Through those three days I started a journey of truly realizing the importance of family. Sure, I have always adored my parents and little brother, but this took it to a new level. The whole idea of the family unit became so clear to me and so special. I realized how blessed I am to have the supportive parents I have who trust me and love me unconditionally. 

I love seeing my parents because they are walking right along side me in this journey. They are so encouraging and uplifting and simply fun to be around. I love just sitting and watching a movie with them or talking about life. They are my biggest fans and I am so grateful for them.

I guess the point of me writing this is that if you have a kid or kids who maybe don't seem to get some of things that you are teaching them right now in life, whether it be elementary, junior high or high school, give them a month in college and they will understand it all. I daily see things that they were trying to teach me. Things like consistency, hard work and contentment. I have a long way to go and I mess up a lot, but I know that besides God, my parents will always be there for me. 

Clique? Well, I'm just starting life on my own and suddenly the clique becomes very profound.

Family, what a gift from God!

I AM NOT

" I am NOT, but I know I AM" 

That is the theme of my life that I am currently trying to grasp. What does it look like to fully devote your life to the Lord. I have a strong desire to want to see exactly what God has for me in every moment of my life, but I struggle with deciphering what His voice sounds like sometimes. I know that this is only an expression of my lack of faith in Him. 

I am currently wrestling with the choice of changing my major just a month into college. I am currently in Business Marketing and have fun dreams of being a buyer for a major department store, basically playing with clothes all the time. Though this is a worthy dream and aspiration, my dream has changed over the past month and a half. I think that the Lord is leading me to politics. I really saw a lot of things changing in my heart and my passion and interested becoming fully enthralled with the inner workings or government and wondering how change ( I almost never want to say this word, because of our little friend Barack, but I have a point and goal in change that I will now express, unlike Mr. Obama :) ). I have a passion for America and what it could be, I see a lot of potential in our legislation and to be honest I cannot tell you exactly what I feel the Lord wants me to focus on within the arena, but the Lord is big, bigger than politics. 

Little things have blessings and comforts from the Lord, so I wanted to share them.

1. I decided in June to enroll in  a Political Science class just to see if I liked it, and I love it. It is very hard, but fascinating and for some weird reason gets me really excited!

2. I had been praying that I would meet like minded people who like politics. So, get ready for the list.

- First day of my Public Speaking class my teacher informs us of her strong love for the Lord and love for politics, she runs a little thing called College Republicans.

- My RA is a Political Science Major

- I met a girl at a party who loves the Lord and loves politics and talked to me for awhile about the reality of going into the field.

- A friend of mine in Comp class is Political Science major

- A guy in my speech class gave a whole speech about how he felt the Lord was calling him into politics.

3. A little thing that was extremely random, but gave me chills was at Breakaway last Tuesday

- We were singing a song about feeling broken and tired and lost in what the Lord has for us and the powerpoint picture in the background was a picture of the capitol. I almost cried over a powerpoint. 

God is good, He is a plan and I am freaked out and thrilled about it. 

I am continuing to seek the Lord's face in my decisions, because so far He has been beyond faithful to listen to a little girls heart and prayers. 

With Love, 

Lauren

The Past Few Months

Well, it has been awhile since I have posted, SORRY!!! Life is crazy and amazing.  Here is what I have been doing for the past 2 and 1/2 months:

July 5- Leave Home...

A sad day, that I had dreaded for a long time. I cried maybe about halfway to Pine Cove. It's weird leaving home, knowing that it's not where you live anymore. The funny thing is, the dogs were the ones who got me going on the cry-fest. Ah man, those stupid dogs, I miss them a lot. Oh, and of course I miss my family, a ton. 

That day, I met my new family. Six amazing girls who challenged and encouraged me and continue to do so to this day. It was the most incredible and hardest experience thus far in my life. I learned so much about myself, the good, the bad and the absolutely horrifyingly ugly. They told us that throughout the year we would have moments of revelation when we would say, "Oh, I get why they made us do that." And yes, I have had quite a few of them. Man, I love those girls. 

July 13, July 20, July 27, and August 3-

These were the Sundays that we had to report back to Pine Cove by 1pm. These were some of the hardest days. They basically went, wake up, call parents and cry. I was so homesick and exhausted, but every week, God would pick me up and carry me through it. A great lesson about perseverance.

August 9-

Pine Cove OVER. Sad day. It was super hard saying goodbye to girls who I had poured my whole heart to, but no fear, we talk quite often.

August 12th-

Impact Camp in College Station. The hardest 3 days of my life. I missed my family, I missed my girls from Pine Cove and I felt so alone. (You will notice that a lot of my experiences have been hard and lonely, but the point of sharing them is to show you how wonderfully God has provided and grown me for His purposes.) I was exhausted emotionally and physically and was trying to process everything I had learned about PC. My word, it was overwhelming. Through those 3 days, I relied on the Lord in a way that I had never experienced. I had to pray that I would be strong and friendly and not just burst into tears, and the Lord was SO faithful and taught me about stamina and strength that only ONLY comes from Him.

August 15-

MOVE IN DAY!!! I finally got to see my parents after about 3 weeks, which was so great. I also got to finally meet my suitemates and move in with my wonderful roomie Kate (we had met over the summer on PC weekends, and we pretty much fell in love with each other :P). When I got to the Cambridge (where we live) it was wonderful, it felt like a place I could finally settle into. It was heaven on earth. 

August 25

SCHOOL STARTS!!! I was thrilled about school starting and to see what this college thing was truly all about. It was/is great. I love my classes and have met so many neat people.

PHEW>>> well, there is the catch up. I will try to stay updated from now on. 

With Love,

Lauren